Top tips to help you recover from depression

I’m writing blog entries on my phone and a tad sleep deprived so I apologise for lack of punctuation etc.

Now before I start please bear in mind that there is no simple and quick fix to recover from depression or any other mental health problem. These tips are what helped me pull through some of the darkest moments of my life. My case was slightly complicated because I didn’t have depression on its own.

You have to get through the difficult stuff before it starts to get easier. Life is full of painful situations.

1. See a doctor. Ask for therapy and be willing to give it a go. Be open to take medication and make sure that you take it when you need to. Remember – In a lot of cases medication is a short term solution for a long term problem.

I really thought that therapy didn’t work for me but now I realise that I practise the skills without even thinking about it.

Therapy is NOT a quick solution. It takes a while to master the skills and you have to give it your all. You have to want to get better and nobody else can do it for you. You will only recover if you do it and put the effort in. Nobody else can actually do much other than support you and help guide you. You have to be the one to use the skills.

2. Ditch alcohol, drugs and caffeine. If you have a problem with any, make sure to seek advice from your doctor first.

3. Try and find enough strength to let go of anything negative. Negative people, negative situations and negative thoughts. This is easier said than done but it is essential.

Look at the individual problems that are making your life difficult. Will this problem still be a problem in 5 years? If the answer is no, then let it go. If it’s yes, try and problem solve. A good way to plan how you are going to tackle a problem is to write a plan down on paper and think of step by step solutions. If you can’t find a way to fix a problem then try and get others to help and get involved. Get help and advice from relevant organisations and listen to what people have to say. Try not to brush advice off.

Block people on social media that are abusive, horrible or have a negative impact on your life. There might be a time in the future where you may be able to forgive and forget.

4. Try and go for a walk, exercise, sit in the garden, find somewhere beautiful to just sit and enjoy fresh air. Ask yourself some questions when you are outside. For example, what colours can you see? What can you smell? Focus on blue and green colours. Buy some lavender and rosemary – these are great to sniff! Essential oils (especially lavender) are good to put on a handkerchief or piece of tissue and sniff when you are anxious.

5. Set goals for the future. This one is quite difficult to do in a negative mindset. Start small and gradually make the goals bigger. Goals can be things like:

  • Finishing school and education
  • Cleaning and ticking off each completed chore
  • Getting to your ideal healthy weight
  • Saving for something you really want
  • Making new friends and meeting new people
  • Working on your dream career

Write a list of things you would like to do every year. Tick off each thing when you have done it. The year won’t be great unless you make it great. Life won’t hand you a good year on a silver plate, you have to plan and do something about it. Life is too short to mess about and to tell yourself that you will get around to doing it tomorrow. Write down what you want to do and find a way to do it. Tomorrow is never promised! Do it NOW! 🙂

Also, a lot of people believe that they can’t get their dream job. YES YOU CAN! The internet is a great thing. Work on yourself, your education and other things will click together. Don’t give up! Even if it means starting from the bottom.

Try not to be disheartened if you don’t complete your goals. Everyday is a new opportunity so don’t give up!

6. Every time a negative thought comes into your head, turn it into a positive one as fast as you can. Don’t spend too long thinking about it. This takes a while to master but it gets easier the more you do it. If you can’t think of anything positive then think of goals you have set and how you are going to complete them.

7. Block out the past and focus on the present and future. Every time you think of a negative past situation, change what you are doing.

8. Be kinder to yourself. Eat well, sleep well (try to) and pamper yourself. Have a bath, eat something that you really enjoy (in moderation) and try to look after your appearance.

9. Find positive people. This can be easier to do on the internet with some forums and self help websites. Look into groups and clubs and take yourself out of your comfort zone. 10. Volunteer or find people to help. Helping others makes people feel good!I wish you all the best 💗


1 (pretty big) reason why you shouldn’t cut

I’m writing blog entries on my phone and a tad sleep deprived so I apologise for lack of punctuation etc.

I just got back from my six week post birth check with a GP. I went in to the appointment very positive and bubbly but came away feeling like I’m not as good as other people and felt uncomfortable.

After my daughter was checked over it was my turn… The doctor asked me how I’ve been doing and I replied ‘I have been very well thank you’. I was feeding Holly so she took my sleeve off to check my blood pressure and paused. She prodded my arm and said ‘oh.. these are not recent are they?’ There we go… that shit question again. Seriously?! YOU ARE A DOCTOR!!! You must be able to tell the difference between decade old scars and fresh ones?!

Anyway I sucked it up and said in a positive and cheery tone ‘They are from my childhood and adolescence and I’m very happy and content with my life now’. She looked at me with a frown and asked ‘Do you have support and how are you coping with your kids?’. I replied ‘yes my partner is very supportive and my kids are doing very well and I am coping very well.’ For the rest of the appointment her body language and tone changed from being very nice and chatty to off and pretty much silent.

Cheers… makes me feel like such a normal person! not. I must of been asked the question ‘are these recent’ by health professionals over 10-20 times recently. It might not seem like such a biggie to some people and what do I expect for years of self harm in the past. It’s my own fault really but I did not realise how many people would be so funny about it. So many people have been amazed with how far I have come and what I have achieved. I even think wow I’ve done a really good job and give myself a pat on the back from time to time.

I got through a childhood full of physical, sexual and emotional abuse and yes I didn’t cope with it for years after but when I had intense therapy and started to realise that there’s more to life than that shit, I picked myself up and pulled myself out of that black hole. I wanted to kill myself and I attempted suicide many times because I thought I couldn’t deal with the intense pain, horrific flashbacks and thoughts that I had. I’m so glad I didn’t do that!

I had no one when I went through my darkest moments. It was the loneliest thing you could imagine and even that felt painful. It’s quite irritating now actually because those people who left me alone are wanting to be there now in my happiest moments. The only people who actually gave a shit back then were the emergency services, some hospital staff, an absolutely amazing consultant and the lovely subscribers I had on my YouTube channel.

It makes me annoyed that everyone with past problems are put in one box and treated differently. Yes I made mistakes (self harm being one) but I was very unwell. I had no rational thoughts and I didn’t think I would even live a life. I attempted suicide many times and I didn’t want to live anymore so I guess I thought it was pain relief for a short term problem.

Now I am happy and healthy but physically heavily scarred. Just keep in mind that many people are judgemental and don’t understand. Protect your skin because one day you will be able to feel better.

I can give you some other reasons to not self harm:

-It’s very dangerous and you could cut through something serious.

-Higher risk of wounds getting infected and a doctor once told me that you could get septicaemia.

– You can’t wear certain clothing without people staring at you. It’s human nature to be curious and wonder what happened.

-People judge even when you have got to a great place in your life.

-People will always bring up your past when they see them.

-You can’t really sunbathe properly and if you do you should use factor 50 suncream.

-No matter how many creams and oils you use, your skin will never look the same.

-One day you will hopefully be so happy and if you have kids they will probably quiz you on it.

-It will be more difficult to join the military or other uniformed services.

Please don’t do it 💗 There is a lot of help out there. I really recommend CBT. There are no magic wands and no quick solutions to your pain but you CAN get through what life throws at you. If you find yourself wanting to self harm, you NEED to change your mindset and honestly the best way of doing that is therapy, removing anything negative from your life, having some hope and being as positive as you can.

If you feel like you have no one then be your own best friend. Keep holding on and push through it.